Girl Talk
by socgrl
Summary: a new level of understanding. HM shipper


Title: Girl Talk  
  
Rating: PG  
  
Author: socgrl  
  
Disclaimer: Don't own them. If I did this season would be A LOT different! (However I am pleased with the direction it is taking now!)  
  
A/N: The very first part is Mac's POV, but the rest is all narrated. The song that is imbedded is "The Scientist" by Coldplay. It essentially tells the story from a Harm's POV. Hope you enjoy and remember R and R. Let me know what you think!  
  
1800 Hrs EST  
  
North of Union Station  
  
(Mac's POV)  
  
I get off the elevator and walk the few steps to the door. I'm a little nervous and slightly intimidated. What am I going to say? Do I have the right to interfere like this?  
  
All of these questions are running through my head as I unconsciously raise my hand and knock on that familiar door.  
  
"Colonel MacKenzie" says PO Jennifer Coates as she opens the door to the apartment she shares with Mattie Grace.  
  
I smile and nod, "Hello Jennifer, is Mattie here?"  
  
"Yes ma'am. I'll go get her." She walks through the living room to the first bedroom and walks back momentarily with Mattie following suit.  
  
"Hey Mac, what's up?"  
  
"Nothing much, I just wanted to see if you wanted to grab some dinner with me. I heard Harm say he had to cancel dinner with you tonight because of a case he's working on," I say.  
  
"Yeah," she states rather defunct. "What did you have in mind?"  
  
"I figured I'd take you out to that Italian restaurant around the corner and we could grab a pizza. Sound good?"  
  
"Definitely, as long as there is meat on it," she says with a sly look.  
  
"Oh there will be meat; Harm is the only human rabbit I know." We both laugh. "Jennifer," I say looking at the young woman, extending the invitation, "You're more then welcome to join."  
  
"Oh thank you ma'am, but I have to get some work done. The Admiral is preparing the budget report for the SecNav and he has me pulling info and researching our recent budget constraints. I'll be here all night."  
  
"Well then, what would you like? Mattie and I'll order it to be delivered up here when we get there. On me," I replied.  
  
"Are you sure ma'am, that is very generous of you," said Jennifer sheepishly.  
  
"Yes, Jennifer. And call me Mac outside of the office!" I say smiling.  
  
"Well o.k. ma'am, I mean Mac, if you are sure. I would like an order of chicken parmesan. Thank you ma'am," she said with a light laugh.  
  
"Sure thing," looking to Mattie I say, "Ready to go?"  
  
"Yup, let me grab my jacket."  
  
1825 Hrs EST  
  
North of Union Station  
  
Luigi's Little Italy Restaurant  
  
(Narrator POV)  
  
As they walked in they immediately placed Jennifer's order and found seats by the window.  
  
"So Mattie, how are things going?" Mac asked.  
  
"Good," she said suspiciously. "Did Harm ask you to do this?" Mac looked a little confused so Mattie continued, "Did he ask you to check up on me?"  
  
"God no," Mac answered easily smiling at the teenager. They both started to laugh. Mac continued, "You know Harm, he likes to take care of things by himself before asking for others help."  
  
"Yeah, I know what you mean," said Mattie. "It's really funny when he asks if I need anything while he's at the store. I think he's trying to ask if I need any feminine products, but he gets all flustered when he tries to ask." They both begin to laugh hysterically.  
  
"Yup, that's Harm. When it comes to women, he's not the best with words. He is an excellent litigator, but when he tries to talk to us, it's like he's speaking gibberish." Mac smiled at herself when she thought about her last comment.  
  
"So Mattie, how are things going with Harm?" Mac asked.  
  
"Good, he's great," said Mattie. Under her breath she continued, "when he's there."  
  
"Ah, I see," said Mac. "He's a pretty busy guy Mattie."  
  
"Yeah I know. It just sucks. I mean before he came around I didn't need anyone to talk to. I could entertain my self. I depended on only me. But since Harm was granted custody of me, I dunno, it's just nice having him around. And I miss having him around cause he's so busy all the time," said Mattie.  
  
"Mattie, I know that he's busy. But I can guarantee that if you ever need anything he'll be there in a heartbeat. No questions asked. I know from experience, when he sets his mind to something he will not fail."  
  
"Do you support him petitioning for custody of me?" asked Mattie shyly.  
  
"Honestly," she started, but realizing it didn't sound too positive continued quickly, "I was mad at him because he didn't say anything to me about it sooner. He just kind of was like 'hey guess what, there is a little girl who I want to petition for custody of. I need your help'."  
  
Seeing the confusion in Mattie's eyes she proceeded, "I was hurt because he never mentioned you. And then he got upset when I expressed my frustration. If I didn't support him, or believe that he could do this, I would have never shown up in that courthouse on Christmas." Mac smiled at the young girl, "You're good for him kiddo!"  
  
"And so are you Mac," she said tossing a smile at the Colonel.  
  
Mattie took a bite of pizza and tentatively asked, "Mac, you don't have to answer this if you don't want to, but I already know Harm's side. What happened in Paraguay?"  
  
Mac took a long sip of her soda and debated how she should go about this. "Why are you so interested?" Mac asked. It wasn't rude, just inquisitive.  
  
"Well, I know Harm's side of the story and I'm ashamed to say that because of it I formed a premature opinion of you. I expected you to be this heartless, well," she searched for the word. "Bitch," Mac added. "For lack of a better word, yes. But now that I know you, I know that's not it at all," Mattie said.  
  
Mac smiled at the young girl, "Well thanks." They both giggled.  
  
Mac began with slight trepidation, "Harm and I have always had a rather interesting relationship. We have always been more than friends but we never developed into something 'more'. Our timing was always off. Whenever he decided to follow through with his feelings I was not in a position to return them. Every time I was involved with another man, engaged, or off on a mission, he would show signs that he wanted me. But as soon as I was in a position to return those feelings, he shut himself off to me."  
  
Mattie laughed inwardly, "Yeah, I can see how he would do that."  
  
Mac took a deep breath, "I made this apparent to him just before I left for Paraguay. He told me he didn't want me to go. He knew something bad would happen. He wanted to protect me but I wouldn't let him."  
  
Mac thought back to that moment. Standing in his apartment. The look of fear and need in his eyes. It was forever ingrained in her mind.  
  
Mac began again, "Well, after Harm rescued Agent Webb and I, he became very defensive." Looking down at the table while twisting her napkin Mac said, "every time I would try to talk to him he would throw a rude comment my way. His mood was bi-polar for the rest of the day. One moment he was telling me I was beautiful and the next he couldn't even tell me why he resigned his commission."  
  
~~~~~~~~  
  
Come up to meet you,  
  
Tell you I'm sorry  
  
You don't know how lovely you are  
  
I had to find you  
  
Tell you I need you  
  
Tell you I set you apart  
  
Tell me your secrets  
  
Ask me your questions  
  
Oh, let's go back to the start  
  
~~~~~~~~  
  
"Well Mac you obviously know why. Right?" asked Mattie.  
  
"Yeah, but he can never tell me. He just assumes I know. I'm tired of assuming his feelings, I want to know what he's thinking and feeling," she said looking the young girl in the eyes.  
  
"Because he was hurt he began to blow everything out of proportion. Everything I said to comfort Clay he took as a stab directed at him. I had just been through hell and I wanted to be comforted and understood by my best friend. I didn't even get a chance to tell him thank you. In the end he wanted to get out of Paraguay as fast as possible and I wanted to just breathe for a second. We couldn't even do that. I was so frustrated by his insensitivity that I told him "we" could never work because we both wanted to be in charge of the situation."  
  
Mac decided the condensed version would go over better then explaining the whole 'We both want to be on top and that is physically and emotionally impossible' story.  
  
~~~~~~~~~  
  
Running in circles  
  
Coming up tails  
  
Heads are a science apart  
  
Nobody said it was easy  
  
It's just a shame for us to part  
  
Nobody said it was easy,  
  
No one ever said it would be this hard  
  
Oh, take me back to the start  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"So basically what you are saying," Mattie began, "is that Harm has 'foot in mouth disease'." Mattie looked at Mac with a new understanding.  
  
Mac began to laugh. "Yeah I guess you could say that."  
  
"Harm and I have the utmost respect for one another. We know and understand one another like few ever have. He knows about my father and my alcoholism. He understands why I have built a wall around my heart and doesn't question it. I understand about his father and have supported him in his search for the truth. Not many people have put up with us the way we have with each other. I guess that's what makes the bad times between us so hard. Normally we would go to one another, but how can you tell the person that broke your heart why you are crying?"  
  
"Wow, I can see where the problem is now."  
  
Mattie and Mac looked at each other, now understanding the others part in the life of their hero.  
  
"I just have one more question," Mattie again asked tentatively. "What happened between you and your father?"  
  
"Sheesh Mattie, you ask the loaded questions don't you?" Mac said with a smile.  
  
Mac took another deep breath. Only two people really knew about her past in Yuma; Chloe and Harm. "When I was growing up my father used to go out on payday to the O Club on base and come home wasted. He would hit my mother and yell at me to come down and take off his boots. On my fifteenth birthday my mother took off and left me alone with him. He continued to drink and would abuse me verbally. He never hit me, but to cope with everything I began to drink. Somewhere in four years of drunken haze I got married, graduated high school, and got into a car accident where my ex- boyfriend was killed. My Uncle Matt took me out to Red Rock Mesa, which is where he used to take me hunting for dinosaur bones. We camped out there for a couple of weeks so that I could dry out. After Red Rock I went into the Marines. Since then I have gone to Japan, Bosnia, graduated from Duke with a law degree, and been promoted to Lieutenant Colonel."  
  
"That's pretty impressive Mac." Mattie stated rather proudly. She now understood that Mac clawed her way through a difficult past to become a very distinguished woman.  
  
"Thanks kiddo," Mac said with a smile.  
  
"I think I understand now why Harm was so supportive of me and wanted to take care of me," said Mattie.  
  
"Oh yeah, why's that?" Mac questioned.  
  
"It was his way of taking care of you, with out taking care of you," Mattie sputtered out. "You get what I'm saying?" Mattie asked.  
  
"I think so," said Mac following the young girl's train of thought.  
  
"See we are very similar Mac. Harm didn't feel like you needed him anymore, so instead he found me. And now he is taking care of me like he couldn't take care of you."  
  
"You are one smart young lady Ms. Grace," Mac said with a smile.  
  
"Do you still love him?" Mattie threw in as the check landed on the checkerboard tablecloth.  
  
~~~~~~~~~  
  
Questions of science  
  
Science and progress  
  
Don't speak as loud as my heart  
  
Tell me you love me  
  
Come back and haunt me,  
  
Oh, when I rush to the start  
  
Runnin' in circles,  
  
Chasin' tails,  
  
Comin' back as we are.  
  
Nobody said it was easy,  
  
Oh, it's such a shame for us to part.  
  
Nobody said it was easy,  
  
No one ever said it would be so hard.  
  
I'm goin' back to the start.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Mac nearly choked on her soda, "Ah hem," she coughed. She sat there for a moment debating her answer, "Yes," was her simple reply.  
  
She was caught in her own thoughts and the only thing that brought her back to reality was a hand on her shoulder that made her skin tingle.  
  
"Mac," came the call of husky male voice.  
  
He came around to the side of the table. Neither of the girls were sure how much of the final part of their conversation he heard so they figured silence was golden.  
  
"Jennifer said that you two were here. I figured I would see if I could catch you before you left. But since you are done ingesting your masticated animals," he smiled broadly at both of them, "then I just get my stuff to go and walk you home."  
  
"Sounds like a plan sailor," said Mac with a smile matching his own.  
  
Mattie smiled inwardly. These two were perfect for each other. They just needed to talk and leave the feet out of their mouths.  
  
2030 Hrs EST  
  
North of Union Station  
  
Luigi's Little Italy Restaurant  
  
As they walked out of the restaurant Harm held out his arms for the girls to take, "Ladies," he said like a true gentleman. Mac and Mattie both smiled at each other and rolled their eyes at Harm.  
  
When they got back to the apartment Mac said goodnight to both Jennifer and Mattie and offered to take them both to the movies sometime. Harm too said his goodnights and closed the door behind them.  
  
"She's a good kid Harm," Mac said as the door shut.  
  
"Thanks, she's definitely keeping me on my toes," Harm smiled at her.  
  
Harm walked Mac the rest of the way down the hall toward the elevator as they said their respective goodnights.  
  
"Hey Mac," he said just before she got in the elevator to go down to her car.  
  
"Yeah Harm," she said putting her gloves on.  
  
"I still love you too."  
  
He said those three words with a confidence he had never before exuded. It was timid, but without fault. He didn't stumble or stop mid sentence. It was free flowing.  
  
Mac smiled a sheepish smile and looked down at the floor as she continued to fiddle with her gloves. "I guess you heard our conversation."  
  
"Yup," he stated matter of fact.  
  
"You know it's rude to eavesdrop on people's conversations!" she said with a grin playing at her lips.  
  
"I don't care," he said as he took the two steps toward her and dropped her gloves to the floor and pulled her into a kiss.  
  
The kiss was sweet and tender. Not a hungry kiss between lovers, but a hint of what was to come. "God you are beautiful Sarah," was barely a whisper when the parted for air.  
  
"I know that we have a lot to talk and work out. And I know you have Clay to deal with. But now, every time I look at you I loose a piece of my self. I know that I don't care what happens to my career as long as you and Mattie are by my side. You are my life."  
  
His words were filled with love and sincerity and they took her breath away.  
  
"Harm, this has been so hard. Not being able to talk to you and tell you how I feel. I love you. I'm in love with you and I want to spend forever with you. Not you protecting me or me protecting you, but working together side by side."  
  
He held on to her as she shed years of frustration through quiet sobs.  
  
She looked up at him with a smile and pressed a light kiss to his lips. "Goodnight Harm, I love you."  
  
"I love you too; see you in the morning, beautiful!"  
  
Both parted their separate ways. Mac walked to her car. Harm went into his apartment and watched from the window as she pulled away. And Mattie smiled at herself as she finally left the peep-hole in the door.  
  
"FINALLY!"  
  
A/N: This was a spur of the moment story. I have been working on sequels to some of my other stories but I've been busy. Let me know what you think, please R and R. You guys make this fun! 


End file.
